Have you ever wanted to reach a goal yet you felt too anxious or confused? Did you ever want to say or do something and yet you felt defeated before you even opened your mouth? Have you ever felt tongue-tied or at a loss for words or actions that cost you? Well, in this article you will discover some powerful secrets of Mental Rehearsal, real rewards and minor punishment that will help you reach your goals. Also, you will feel more certainty about your goals and discover more about yourself and what motivates you best!
Most living creatures including humans respond to punishment and reward. Animals, plans and human beings either move toward what they like and move away from things they dislike or that bring them discomfort.
So whether we realize it or not, most of us follow some sort of motivation based on this system. In order to reach goals we often have to reach beyond our comfort zone and yet if the goal is worth it we do what we need to. The idea is to make the Goals realistic. For instance, you can have a goal to motivate yourself yet you cannot control other people. Pick a goal where you want to do or say something and you mentally practice and mentally rehearse this (self-hypnosis) and then you do it. Feel yourself following through and how good you feel, despite some initial discomfort. See yourself keeping that promise to yourself and hear your voice sounding confident beneath whatever nervousness may be there. So if for whatever reason you do not complete your task or goal, then you have to take the punishment that you designed. It is best to pick something minor because it will help you focus on that instead of on the feeling that you just failed. You just learned that you need more preparation so take the small punishment and learn from your experience and then prepare better.
So a recipe for failure is to make the goal too difficult and make it rely on other people or how they react or respond. We CANNOT predict the behavior and responses of other people, just like we can only do our best to be prepared for changes in the weather. So punishing yourself for not getting the response you wanted makes no sense. Instead you mentally rehearse what you want to do or say and how you are resilient and flexible no matter what their reply or response is and then you reward yourself for doing what you told yourself you would do. This builds Character and discipline and allows you to choose larger and more difficult tasks each time and get comfortable with the occasional punishment and the more often rewards. Also, the punishment can be something you need to do anyway, yet dislike doing, for example your Laundry.
You get into a relaxed position where you will not be disturbed and you focus on your breathing. You calm your mind while getting excited about your goal. Now you mentally rehearse success. Successfully rehearse what you are going to say or do and you prepare and build up your comfort level and confidence until your visualization flows and you feel more courage and inspiration. Then you set up a small punishment and reward. So if you follow through on your plan or goal, you get the reward you designed along with the REAL Reward of having followed through on your goal. This is a good way to trick yourself into doing the right things more often and can make a huge difference in your life.
For whatever reason you fail to follow through and you realize you did not plan enough. So you take the minor punishment (do not make it overly harsh or it will feel like boot camp and possibly add to your anxiety and resistance-if you are reading this article you probably do not have that kind of harsh boot camp mentality and are not wired for this to work so instead follow the suggestions in this article and notice the changes you are making in your life.)
So now you follow through with the punishment (example-Laundry) and now you have the knowledge of what you need to work more on. What kept you from following through on your plan? Did the words get stuck or did your mind go blank or did you just feel anxious and uncomfortable? Or did you no longer feel like you wanted to reach the goal. Ask yourself these types of questions so that you have more resources. Once in a while, a client or friend will come to me with some story of a failure to reach their goals and they sometimes discover that their resistance was because it was NOT their own goal. So if the goals or tasks are not really yours, yet come from parents or society and deep inside you do not really want to do this anyway, then you will now realized this. If you are just making excuses then you will realize this, as well and know better how to get yourself motivated to follow through on your promises to yourself. Either way, it is a win/win situation and you will be reaching more of your goals. Congratulations!